By strolling around in the german net I found a nice category of forum users. And here are the most common characters of forum users - at least in Germany.
So - what do you think ? Do you recognize anybody ? Or yourself ?
Here is the story:
Suppose we have a banana and we do not know anything about bananas. Since we do not know any banana experts, we turn to an imaginary fruit forum:
**I hope you can help me here. I have bought one banana in the supermarket and do not know how to eat it. Can someone tell me how to peel and if you can eat the inside ? **
At least 90% of answers can be assigned to one of the types described below and are of course completely useless. And there are these characteristics everywhere, no matter whether it is about teddy bears or GDR devotional:
You only buy fruit in the special fruit store , as one explains how to eat it. Anyone who buys the fruit in the supermarket does not deserve any help, but the main thing is: stinginess is cool!
The elitist uses only the best, or at least that's what everyone believes, so he does not miss any opportunity to bother newbies and low-budget users. His comments are never helpful.
The old hare
If you have no idea what to buy, you should better keep away from it. I recommend seedless grapes for entry.
The old hare knows a lot, and he has accumulated all this knowledge through painful experience. So why would a runaway beginner get the wisdom presented on the silver platter?
I do not buy bananas on principle, I only use mango products.
The fanboy does not need a god, his religion is a brand, a specific system or a product. You can often find it in IT forums (Apple, Linux) but basically everywhere you look at different things decide (Coke-Pepsi, cat-dogs, etc. ). As soon as fanboys engage in the topic everything is lost, the further discussion becomes a desolate Blowing the fan bearings.
I do not know about bananas, but I have a kiwi here, which is best cut in the middle and spooned out.
The communicator likes to talk about himself, and takes every opportunity that comes with it. Even though he can not do anything about the subject, he always has a personal anecdote ready. Often his posts lead to the discussion completely changing direction.
Did you already use the search function or Google? The question has already been answered 1000x.
No one has forced him to look at the question, he has done it anyway, and is now in a bad mood because he was stolen 20 seconds of his life. His answer is often just a hunch, a concrete indication of an already existing solution he does not give. An answer a la "I've already done that, there was nothing" he usually ignores.
I have some apples lying around here, they are great, do you want to buy them?
His flat is full of things that he once bought but eventually replaced by better things. Because his girlfriend would like to use the living room again, he has to get rid of the clutter, which he tries regardless of topic or question.
The Sham expert
Which variety is it exactly? If you want a neat answer you also have to ask precise questions. It is best to take photos of the banana as well.
He actually has no idea about bananas, but only on the cover of a magazine once read the name. Nevertheless, to all present To show what a super Duper professional he is, he demands details, hoping that they will not be delivered. Should he be with the He can usually supply information after a more detailed description or, alternatively, nothing at all can be heard from you.
Please introduce yourself first. We have the sub-forum "Introductory Round".
He does not really care about the subject, he wants to get to know people, and best of all, those who do not just exist in his imagination. Throughout the day, he keeps an eye on his forum mailbox and he has at least 28 threads on the subject of "user meetings", all of which have remained unanswered.
You've posted your question in the forum "Fruit - General", but it belongs in the category "General questions about the consumption of yellow fruits". I moved the thread there.
He is already a member of the fruit forum in 1998 and proud of it. Since 2008 he is also Admin and he takes his role very seriously. He Regularly scour the forum for new tasks for organizational talents like him. His job as a child was a village policeman.
Quite simply, you have to squeeze the banana and squeeze the porridge out, then you can eat the shell!
The troll is a silent representative who does not want to argue with anyone. First, he helps Mommy with the dishes, and then his little brother with the homework. Unfortunately, his mind turns as soon as there is an internet forum between him and the rest of humanity, he becomes a dark lord of dark matter, anger and hate malnourished.
The Google / Wikipedia type
According to Wikipedia, the "pulp" of many varieties of Musa × paradisiaca and other hybrids is edible.
Also, the Google / Wikipedia type has no idea of the matter, but can enter the question in a search box and transport the result by copy & paste back to the forum. Often he has a Ph.D., but he does not know why.
You forgot a comma after the word "peel". Please try to correct punctuation if you expect us to take care of your problems.
He sees spelling errors as an attack on his intelligence and this in turn as above average. At school he was the teacher's darling though hated by everyone else, little has changed, but he does not have teachers anymore
End of story -- hope you enjoy it !